


Approximation

by admiralty



Series: Culmination [3]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s11e07 Rm9sbG93ZXJz, F/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-30 18:58:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15102926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/admiralty/pseuds/admiralty
Summary: Mulder and Scully keep in contact. Set during the events of S11 ep7 "Rm9sbG93ZXJz." Part of Culmination (Extras)





	Approximation

 

**_APPROXIMATION_ **

 

**MULDER/ SCULLY**

**(Rm9sbG93ZXJz)**

 

 

 

 

**1213 37th Place, Georgetown, District of Columbia**

**9:37 PM**

 

“ _Hey, Scully. Miss me already?”_

“Mulder, you’re never going to believe what just happened. That driverless... Whipz... whatever car nearly killed me.”

_“What?”_

“Yeah. It wasn’t listening to anything I was saying and it was going so fast, I honestly thought I might die.”

_“Why didn’t you call me?”_

“What the hell would you have done about it?”

_“Um. Call the Better Business Bureau?”_

“It doesn’t matter, I guess. I made it home alive.”

_“I’m relieved. After everything you’ve survived, ‘Death By Whipz Car’ would have been an unfortunate obituary to have to write up.”_

“I also got a false alarm charge from this stupid home security system. Nothing is working like it should.”

_“Yeah, I know. I’ve got to call my credit card company and explain that my card got stuck in a sushi bar.”_

“Are you still driving home?”

_“I had a little trouble with the GPS. You know, Scully, none of that would have happened if you’d just come home with me.”_

“Maybe I would have, if you’d asked.”

_“I didn’t want to be presumptuous.”_

“Mulder, we’re well beyond presumption. Twenty five years beyond it, in fact.”

_“Well, you ordered that fancy über-Uber without telling me.”_

“I like to keep you on your toes.”

_“I guess so, sheesh. Not even a kiss goodnight.”_

“Sorry. That car was weird, it was, like... watching us.”

_“Wow. I’ve heard some pretty crazy excuses in my day.”_

“It’s not an excuse. It creeped me out.”

_“Hey Scully, what are you wearing?”_

“Really, Mulder?”

_“Yeah. That car ruined the end of our evening. The car you called. Make it up to me. What are you wearing?”_

“You’re driving, Mulder. ‘Death by phone sex’ is definitely not something _I_ want to have to tell people.”

_“Mmm. I think it would be worth the risk.”_

“I’m flattered. But no.”

_“Okay. But I’m going to be home in… six minutes. Safe and sound. Terra firma and all that.”_

“I’m pretty sure you can manage without me.”

_“What about you?”_

“I’m fantastic. I have everything I need.”

_“Everything but me.”_

“I’ve done just fine without you, thank you very much.”

_“Oh, man. You mean… the thing? The thing I gave you for our anniversary? As a joke?”_

“That thing is no joke, Mulder. I never thanked you properly.”

_“As long as you’re thinking about me when you use it, you’re welcome.”_

“Sometimes you, sometimes... Sheriff Hartwell.”

_“You’re killing me, Scully.”_

“Ohp, that’s my other line. I’ll talk to you later.”

_“Liar.”_

 

 

 

 

 

**10:07 PM**

 

_“You know, Scully, if you wanted to chat all night, you REALLY should have just let me bring you home.”_

“Well, full disclosure, I was trying not to.”

_“Why?”_

“Um. Boundaries?”

_“And what boundaries would those be, exactly? As I recall, you had very few earlier this evening.”_

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you're talking about.”

“ _Perhaps I need to refresh your memory.”_

“That would be tantamount to phone sex.”

_“Keep it going, G-woman.”_

“In any event, I’m pretty sure what happened in your car more than made up for the lack of a goodnight kiss.”

_“Never. I feel cheated.”_

“Well, I thought it was pretty great.”

_“Oh, it was. So great I forgot to feed the meter and got a parking ticket.”_

“Fine, Mulder. I owe you a goodnight kiss, then. Okay?”

_“Good.”_

“But I did actually call for a reason.”

_“Can you call me back on the landline? I’m on hold with the credit card company.”_

“Yeah, sure.”

 

 

 

 

 

**10:08 PM**

 

_“Talk to me, Scully.”_

“Do you ever feel like you rely too much on technology?”

_“Ehh... no. I don't think so. I think I’m still pretty old-school. Although I did smash some kid’s drone outside with a baseball bat a little while ago.”_

“You… what?”

_“You, on the other hand…”_

“Yeah, yeah. I’m starting to regret this living arrangement.”

_“Anytime you want to come home, my door is wide open.”_

“I’m serious, Mulder.”

_“I'm serious, too. Nice dodge.”_

“I’m not dodging. I’m unnerved. I was just in the bathroom getting ready to... brush my teeth, and my phone knew when I ran out of… uh, toothpaste. It's like the house is watching me.”

_“That is creepy.”_

“Yeah, I don’t know. It was fun at first, all these gadgets and stuff. Now I feel like I’ve given this house too much of myself. It knows too much about me.”

_“Makes me glad I live in the middle of nowhere.”_

“I can’t… where the hell is it?”

_“Where’s what? You there, Scully?”_

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. I don’t know where anything is in this ridiculous place. I can’t find a broom.”

_“When do I get to see this ridiculous place?”_

“Never, hopefully. The owners return in a couple weeks.”

_“Aww.”_

“Mulder, I need to find a broom. I’ll talk to you later.”

_“My door’s wide open.”_

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

**227700 Wallis Road, Farrs Corner, VA**

**10:36 PM**

 

_“Yes, Mulder?”_

“Scully, I’m extremely frustrated right now.”

_“Mulder, there’s… I kind of have a lot going on at the moment, I don’t have time to talk you out of phone sex.”_

“No, actually that’s not the kind of frustration I’m talking about.”

_“Then what are you talking about?”_

“I’ve been on hold with the damn credit card company for like a half an hour.”

" _Oof. Funny you say that, I’m on the other line on hold too.”_

“I’m starting to agree with you about this whole technology thing. I feel as if we've all walked into some kind of deathtrap of our own making. It's as if we've manufactured our own demise."

_"That's... dark, Mulder."_

"But now I’m actually really worried about my credit card. Those robot chefs might go on a shopping spree if I don’t get it cancelled soon.”

_“Can’t you cancel it online?”_

“I tried. I'm locked out.”

_“Hm. That’s weird._

“Scully, I think this is somehow all connected.”

_“Mulder, you could find a conspiracy at a Chuck E. Cheese.”_

“I keep getting alerts that I forgot to tip. Has that ever happened to you?”

_“You didn’t tip? At the restaurant?”_

“No!”

_“Mulder…”_

“I stand by my decision. I didn’t order blobfish.”

_“Wasn’t it worth it, though? Just for the laugh?”_

“Always worth it to hear you laugh, Scully.”

_“Mulder, I’ve gotta click over.”_

“Okay.”

 

 

_***_

 

 

**Ford Explorer**

**10:53 PM**

 

_“What now?”_

“Scully! I’m coming over!”

_“Mulder, this is getting ridiculous. No means no.”_

“This is not about sex! They’re after me!”

_“Wait, what?”_

“The robots! The machines! I’m a little on edge, Scully!”

_“Are you driving right now?”_

“I can see them in the rearview, it’s freaking me out!”

_“Are you making your panic face? You sound like you’re making your panic face.”_

“Yes, I’m making the face!”

_“Well- I’m a little busy, at the moment- Stop! What- what are you doing?”_

“Is someone over there?”

_“No, I’m talking to... Did you send me this robot vacuum...thingy?”_

“Scully! What’s your address!”

_“I’ve never seen you go to such lengths to get me in bed, it’s actually kind of impressive.”_

“SCULLY. We can talk about that later, and I look forward to that conversation. But right now I need you to GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS.”

_“Fine, okay, it’s 1213 37th Place.”_

“Okay, it’s… plugged in. I’m heading your way.”

_“This robovac is kind of scaring me, to be honest. It’s… persistent.”_

“First the car, then your alarm, now your robovac. And I'm being chased by drones. Scully. Something weird is going on.”

_“Yeah, maybe you should come over."_

“Sit tight, I’ll be there soon.”

 

 

***

 

 

**_Shirley's Diner_ **

**_Georgetown, District of Columbia_ **

**_6:26 AM_ **

 

The sounds of coffee pouring into mugs, soft chatter, and glasses clinking float through the air.

Their hands join together in warmth, a stark contrast to the cold clash of machines, the theme of the evening. The contact is welcome, almost necessary. It feels like a symbolic reprieve from all the time they spent apart. They’ve put down their devices, turned off distractions, and are focusing on each other. It’s something important they’ve needed.

She leans into him and sighs. He sighs back.

_Just look at them and sigh and know they love you._

Scully hums the song without really noticing. Mulder notices, though.

“Is that ‘Teach Your Children Well’?”

“Yeah, it’s been stuck in my head all night.”

“Mine too. That’s strange.”

Forks tap against plates and a cash register closes. The sounds are comforting after such a long, exhausting night.

"This reminds me of my med school days, ending up in a place like this after pulling an all-nighter."

"Wow. Long time ago. Sure you can remember that far back?"

"It feels like another lifetime. Before you feels like an almost nonexistent lifetime. "

He squeezes her hand.

“Hey Scully.”

“Yeah?”

“Come home with me.”

 _Sigh_.

“Okay.”

It’s not like there’s much of a choice. It’s not like there ever would be for them, not anymore. They lean in closer to one another and he lifts her hand to his lips.

“Can we have that sex conversation now?”

“What are you talking about?” 

“The sex conversation I was promised.”

“Did I make you a promise?”

“Let’s say you did.”

She covers his hand completely with hers. 

“I suppose if you give me a place to crash, I’ll owe you.”

“You never owe me anything, Scully.”

“Actually, I do.”

She turns and moves their hands up, briefly freeing her index finger to brush his cheek, turning his face towards hers. Softly, their lips meet. Her phone buzzes but she doesn’t pay it any mind. When they pull apart, they're smiling.

“Goodnight, Mulder.”

He grins. “Don’t you mean good morning?”

“Are you saying that didn’t count?”

“They all count, Scully.”

They sit together holding hands, that single touch the only thing that matters. Forks tap, registers chime, soft chatter. Everything is calm.

_Just look at them and sigh and know they love you._

 

**Author's Note:**

> All hail #ScullysFriend which will forever be canon. This chapter is dedicated to the marvelous Kristen Cloke Morgan and Shannon Hamblin. Thanks for this wonderful episode.
> 
> Part of a larger work: [Culmination](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14748734/chapters/34100159)


End file.
